Committee: Lifestyle

Relationships and human evolution both started at about the same time, dating back to prehistoric times of the cave dwellers. A typical cave-dwelling comprised of a prehistoric family unit. The man was at its centre as he was probably physically the biggest and strongest member of the family, where might was right. It was a family of hunters and foragers.

The man of the family laid out and enforced all the rules of the family. For instance, it was compulsory for everyone to defecate and urinate outside of the cave. Further one could only go to a designated place for the same. A place that was a safe place, within his view and reach, to protect them from marauding animals or other tribes. Life was relatively simple in those days. Obey or be punished.

As the evolution of our species progressed, it was found to be safer and more secure if families got together and began living together. Safety and security were found to be greater in numbers. ‘Togetherness’ seemed to find solutions which went beyond individualized limitations. Soon little communes or ‘villages’ developed. Now there was a need to elect or select someone as a ‘leader’. There was a need to establish common rules or laws with a leadership who would also aim to enforce the same. The practice of ‘p0litics’ began, and a new profession emerged, that of ‘lawyers’.

Soon the size of the communes grew as more and more people found value in living together. Life grew more complex, interpersonal differences and conflicts grew. Clearly a need was felt of learning to live and work together. Relationships grew more complex. The practice of Leadership began to evolve. There was a need to learn how to manage one’s relationships. Fight or flight did not always provide the best answer. Was there a better way?

Every human being is finite and therefore limited in knowledge, wisdom, strength, and so on. Yet we all seek to go beyond our limitations. To do this we must first accept and acknowledge our own limitations. At the same time, we each are in many ways ‘different’ from each other. We each enjoy differences in knowledge, differences in experience, in beliefs, etc… Therefore, there is a lot we can learn from each other. Perhaps we could even grow beyond our individualistic limitations if we chose to learn from each other.

For this we need to get rid of our fixed mindsets and adopt growth mindsets instead. Relationships provide us with a different point of view. They provide us with differences of all kinds. They challenge our limitedness and our ego. In this way they make us into more ‘universal’ beings. They enable us to see the whole picture. They help us to develop ‘growth mindsets’. They help us to challenge and grow out of our existing beliefs and conditionings. They help us to evolve. Hence, let us all learn to celebrate our differences instead of fighting them or running from them.